What I noticed while I volunteered at a training programme in Makoko

I will start off by saying that I am strong-minded about one too many things especially things that have to do with poverty.

Earlier today, I was in a place called Makoko (picture above), you might have heard about it on CNN when Errol Barnett visited it on a special episode of Inside Africa. To clear your mind about something, no, I did not get in a canoe and no, I wasn't on a house above the water, I was in a house right behind the houses on the water (like after the building I was in, was water with the houses above on it).

From the picture, you can guess that at least 99% of the people living in Makoko live in poverty. And it irritates me so much to know that those people live in poverty and yet, they waste their money on things like relaxers! Yes!

The women and quite a number of the kids there all had their hair relaxed and I was like, "what on earth?!?!" You are finding it hard to feed, to clothe....and you are wasting the little money you have on something like a relaxer. For what?

Relaxers are not cheap! They're about what? N1000 (about £4) per pack for the cheaper ones (which contain more sodium hydroxide - harmful!). You can go to a restaurant and buy something elegant, though simple for N1000, you can buy a bunch of plantains around that area for N1000 (and that plantain can last quite a long time and you can feed your family with it), you can buy raw materials for making pastries or getting other things that you can sell and make even more money with that N1000. They spend it on a relaxer. That's wise.

People relax their hair like what? every 6 weeks. Okay! so, that's N1000 every six weeks (by the way, the 'N' stands for 'Naira' - the currency used here). There are 52.1775 weeks in a year. So, if you get a relaxer every six weeks, that's 8.69625 relaxers, but we can't use a decimal amount so, we'll say 8 to 9 relaxers a year and that's how much? N8000 naira. Now, what can you buy with that N8000?  A used Blackberry Curve (that works perfectly), a Stella Morgan blazer/dress, AX Paris dress, something from Forever21, ANNA tank tops, an item of clothing from Zara.....et cetera. N8000 is about £32. I bought something from Etsy in June that cost just £18 pounds (international shipping included). So, you can buy more than 1 thing from Etsy and get it shipped down here for that N8000. By the way, N8000 is about $49.77. Think of what you can get in the United States with that. Okay! moving away from luxury goods. You don't have to get international or designer stuff with the N8000. You can get locally made clothes and get a whole lot of change. I once paid just N100 to get a skirt made for me here. So, that money can get you about 80 skirts. You can get loads of raw materials to cook with and those resources can last for months!

You're living in poverty and you spend that much money on a relaxer instead of embracing your God-given, beautiful hair? Wise. Okay! So, you save N8000 a year if you don't get a relaxer, in 2 years, you save N16000, in three years, N24000, in four years N32000. I'm sure N8000 can pay the rent for a while, if you have to pay rent in Makoko (I don't know). N40000 (not buying a relaxer for 5 years) can pay the rent in a better part of the mainland. You have a baby, the baby stays at home till he/she is at least a year old (I don't know about you or your kids readers, but I started school (pre-school) at the age of 1). During that time your baby is at home, from not spending your money on relaxers, you save at least N8000 and you can use that to send your kid to an okay-enough (not so good, though), school once the kid is of age. That's better than the kid sitting at home or running around in dirt and filth watching crime and a whole lot of other things.

It just irritates me that I was born into a very different life than theirs. Our worlds are like on two separate spectrums yet, I can think of this and they can't?

The next time, I hear someone say, "I don't have money," or "the money isn't coming," or "please give me money" in this country and I see a relaxer in their hair (relaxed hair), I am going to be so pissed.

Save your money, boo!

Oh my....my....yesterday!

SO..... I was at a supermarket yesterday when a lady called my mum and I over to part of an aisle right opposite the foil papers and cling films (which my mum wanted to buy). She started talking about some new and "VERY" good product Dark&Lovely has started selling. She said, "it will make your hair grow long and strong, manageable, it will give your hair a very good texture......." then she picked up a box of relaxer and said, "this is the product." Lord have mercy on us! My mum and I laughed. Then I just kept on grinning while my mum did the talking, "um....she's natural," she said, "and she's convinced me to go natural and there's no way you can convince her to purchase your product." The lady was like, "she's natural and you're going natural," my mum was like "yes" and she was like, "and you like your hair like that?" the look on her face was a cross between slightly bothered and slightly disgusted. My mum went on to say, "your relaxers have damaged my hair before and....." The lady then went on to pick up another product, she was like, "we have something a natural like you could use," my mum warned her, "she's very particular about the ingredients in products," the lady gave me the product with all confidence and was like "check it." As I looked, I kept shaking my head and saying, "no," "no," "no," as I crossed so many terrible ingredients. The lady looked a tad bit bothered. I asked, "do you by any chance have the Dark & Lovely Au Naturale products" she was like, "what?" I repeated, "Dark & Lovely Au Naturale" she was like, "what is that?" I was like, "the new product line Dark & Lovely is selling, the one they just launched recently" and she was like, "I've never heard of it," I stared at the "Dark & Lovely" t-shirt she was wearing.....a D&L worker that doesn't even know the products her company sells.
ANYWAYS.....
THAT WAS A F.U.N EXPERIENCE! Bad humour, I know, anyways.....

How Ironic? (Something that happened today)

Hey everyone! :)

So.....today, I was in the arts dept. at my school when a girl and I noticed some crafts sticks. She was like, "ooh, these are ice cream sticks," I was like, "no, they're craft sticks," she was like, "no, they're the things that are used for relaxers," and I was like, "no, they're craft sticks" and she was like, "how would you know? You don't even have relaxed hair." Oh my, my, my.....

First of all, the pack with the sticks said, "craft stick," and I have had a relaxer before, many relaxers so I keep wondering why people think I'm so clueless about relaxers. Is it 'cause I'm natural and loving it, right now? :)

I have had many people make comments that seem like I'm the last person anyone should think knows a thing about relaxed hair and having relaxed hair. I've only been natural for two years and two days for crying out loud! I got my first relaxer when I was little (around 8 or 9). I had a relaxer about every 6 months since then till shortly before my 14th birthday. I know what a relaxer is, what it does, how it feels, and......how it smells (a smell I definitely do not miss).

Natural doesn't mean clueless. Relaxed doesn't mean superior. I know so much about hair, I've learned so much about hair that I'm not as clueless about hair types and processed hair as everyone thinks I am before I say a thing.

I still find it really funny though. :)

If you were ever relaxed, has anyone ever said anything to you to make it seem like you don't know a thing about relaxed hair?

SO! APPARENTLY, NATURAL HAIR IS NOT GOOD HAIR!

Okay! So, the other day, I was at work (yeah, work :) got a job...but only for 2 weeks! :) ).
Anyways, a lady that works here, she called me out while I was talking with my "co-workers." So, I was wondering why she was calling me, but I went to her and she was like, "why's your hair like this?" I was like, "like what?" She was like, "even your friend's hair is like yours," I looked at my bff through the window. She had her super kinky hair in a messy state, but she had most of it hidden under a beanie. That's when it clicked, the lady had seen my bff's hair before and I knew what she was talking about now, "are you talking about our hair being natural?" I asked, "yes," she said.

"Do you think your hair is good?" she asked, "do you think both of you have good hair?" I said, "yes," she went on to say, "you should go get your hair relaxed," I was like, "I'm never going to get my hair relaxed," she was like, "why? you think your hair is nice?" I said, "yes," she said, "natural hair is not nice. You don't have good hair, how do you even comb your hair?" I was like, "I have good hair, natural hair's beautiful and I comb my hair from the ends up to the roots," she was like, "what nonsense is that? So you'll just be sitting or standing and combing all this hair like that?" I was like, "yes," she then was like (and I hate this part),"look at how thick your hair is! Do you seriously think this is good?" I said, "yes," and she was like, "shut up! it isn't good. Look at how thick your hair is and on top of that, it's natural and you're telling me that's good?" and I was like, "yes."

My uncle (dad's bro), who happened to be in the office that day came over and was like, "what are you guys arguing about?" she was like, "she's telling me she has good hair," my uncle was like, "but she does, look at all this hair, healthy and natural." I should add that my uncle has a 2 year old daughter who's never going to get her hair relaxed (his wife has relaxed hair and from seeing my hair, she's considering transition. My uncle and his wife have decided never to relax, Neriah's hair). As for their almost a month old baby, they've started working on a good and healthy hair regimen for her, they haven't tested anything out on her yet (they only wash her curls with water for now). Anyways, back to what I was saying before: the lady was then like, "how is that good? her hair is so thick and natural," my uncle was like, "you haven't seen anything yet. You should see her rocking an afro," then he asked me why I didn't decide to wear an afro that day and I told him that my hair shrinks a lot now so he was like, "okay." We, my uncle and I, told her that my hair's so healthy now and that it's growing much faster and better now and that my hair hasn't been this long since I was little (when I had hair down my back and WAY below my chin- my dad cut it all off when I was 8-ish. Mind you, I only have below collar-bone length now, but a few strands of hair, stretched, go past bra-strap length - dunno y). The lady still wanted to argue with me, I totally felt like telling her that how thin, heat damaged and relaxer whatever her hair looks, is nothing to write home about or want to have. Instead, I settled for saying, "you should totally consider going natural." She was like, "so my hair would look like yours? Never. Why would I ever want my hair to be like yours? I've told you, you should go to a salon and get your hair relaxed. Look at your mum's hair, doesn't it look beautiful now?" My mum relaxed her curls. I said, "been there, done that, I'm never getting my hair relaxed again," and I walked away and went back to the conference room where I was with my "co-workers" and bff.

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Has this ever happened to you?

or something similar?

Tell me your story.

My Hair Story

Hi everyone! 

So, I said, I was going to put up my hair story. So, here's a quickie summary of it:

I'll start by saying, my mum has never known how to take care of hair, I’m not talking bout just natural hair, I’m talking about all hair types. My mum has naturally curly hair, but ever since, like, well…err….for over 19 years, my mum has had relaxed hair, she gets perms and all that because she doesn’t know how to work with curly hair. Okay! so she married my dad and then my brother was born then some years later, I was born. My bro and I weren’t born with hair manuals and like we both had curly hair so…you can guess. My dad always makes my bro cut his hair so low that it’s hard to guess that it’s curly, because my dad thinks his hair is unruly. When my bro moved out, he grew his hair out and like had a HUGE mass of curls, when he sat in a car, his hair was practically touching the top of the car. So, my dad made him cut it all off. My bro doesn’t know how to take care of his hair, I might add, but still… Okay! so me, I had natural curls till I was….err…7? My parents had always complained about it, my grandmother (dad’s mum) tried whatever, but they were just doing everything wrong. Washing my hair with (harsh) shampoo often, getting petroleum jelly into my hair, combing from the roots to the ends, pulling at my hair. That combing stuff made all the combs in the house break apart from my dad’s so, I asked my dad to help me detangle my hair once and his comb broke so he asked my mum to take me to a hair salon to get my hair relaxed which she happily did. I must say,then, my hair was well…if I wore a bra then, I’d say bra strap length at the back and the hair at the front ended below my chin.

When I got my hair relaxed, I started suffering from breakage. Yeah, it was easier to get a comb through, though combs still broke (even with relaxer in my hair! My hair’s extremely thick and people just don’t know how to comb it!). So, when I was like 8, I got a BC (big chop) and grew out my natural hair till I was almost 10 then, my parents relaxed it again because they still didn’t know what to do with it. My hair broke till it was like shoulder length (or a lil above) and never grew longer than that because as it grew, it broke. My mum relaxed my hair once a whiff of natural hair showed up at my roots, but when I turned 14 (or a few days before my 14th birthday), I told her that I didn’t want that anymore, I told her that I wanted to transition back to natural. She was like, “you don’t know how difficult that is,” “you’ll give up after a short time,” “your hair is so tough,”  she brought up the prom thingy about how I won’t be able to style my hair easily and what’s not, but read this, if you can style super straight hair, what stops you from finding a way to style curly hair, or even, the curly hair already looks great, so you can choose to or choose not to style. She started complaining and stuff so I told her, “just leave my hair alone, I’ll take care of it by myself,” which I did. While transitioning, I stumbled on a treasurefortots blog and saw pics of a little girl’s hair and her mum talked about how she cared for her daughter’s hair and the products she used. That led me to another site which helped me out too. I kept mental notes from when my natural hair starts growing out again. Then, I stumbled onto tightlycurly.com,  Teri LaFlesh’s website and learnt a lot too. I went through her Ingredients page and started checking the ingredients on products mum made me use (I stopped using them, because she was buying nonsense…. seriously, those products were full of harsh chemicals, I don’t know how I still had hair on my head after using those). Shortly after, I stumbled onto one site that has helped me the most - naturallycurly.com. I have a couple of inches of natural hair now (my hair hand-stretched is a little bellow collar bone length) and some (most) of the relaxed bits have weakened out and fallen out. I'm not getting a big chop or small chop or whatever anytime soon even though it looks kinda weird with the curly bits and then some straight bits. When my hair grows a bit longer, and is about say, somewhere down my back, maybe not mid-back or about that (almost there), then, if I still have relaxed bits, I’ll trim them off.

For now, I have hair I love (well, the majority of it/natural). My hair is stronger and I can notice a positive difference in it!

Okay! so, I guess that's it for now! :)

Bye

~Sam