Venting + First sulphate wash in like half a year...ish

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Hi,

So....I don't know which to start with; the venting or the sulphate wash............

I guess I'll start with the sulphate wash.

So, y'all know that I've been CG for quite some time now, but today, I had my mum wash out my hair with a sulphate shampoo. Yeah, I know, I said my mum :) I'm going to get my hair braided/twisted with extensions some time soon so I was bound to sulphate wash some time. By the way, I used a John Freida shampoo (you, know, the one for curly hair). My ends feel dry, but despite that, my hair's fine. I am, however, cutting off my ends, God-willing, next week. I might get a sulphate wash done again once before I switch to the BeeMine Botanical (sulphate-free) shampoo (ordering it this summer).

Now, the venting:

So, my dad's threatening to cut my hair off, like everything. It's going to be like a whole new big chop. Okay! so, if you've ever read my hair story (which is up on here somewhere), you'll know how I got my first BC. Dad got a pair of scissors (not hair shears/hair scissors) and snipped off my ponytail then had me got  to a barber's shop (yup! full of guys getting their hair cut) and level it out. So, I had this boy-ish hair cut, like a really short hair cut. You know, like a Denzel Washington kind of hair cut. Totally wasn't funny. I was the girl with the short hair at school. I carried my bag on my head the next day just to try and hide off my hair. I was the girl with the gorgeous long hair one day, and the next, my hair was gone.

So, Mr. daddy-o is threatening to cut my hair off again. I should mention that he claims to not like short hair. My sis always had her hair short while she was in high school and I think part of uni then my dad was like, "enough is enough!" got mad and made her grow her hair out (which is like back-length now). My sis loved her hair short. I love my hair long and now, he wants to take that away from me. Again?

I know I've been talking about this 'getting my hair cut' for some time now. You know, finally getting the less than an inch of my relaxed ends off. Won't this be a way to achieve that? Yes, but NO. I'm working at BSL before prom. If I have another "Denzel" cut, I would never achieve that. I doubt I'll even be at APL by then. The same man that acted as if he was finally relieved that I had decided to grow my natural hair out is so against it. I don't get it!
He thinks that unless my hair is stick straight, it's messy and not combed (he thinks that my hair's only culry when it's not been combed right). What is that? Hair discrimination or what? He makes my bro get his hair cut lower than that "Denzel" cut and why's that? "Curly hair's not responsible." OH.MY.DAYS!!!! My bro grows out his hair whenever he's away from home, but once he visits or updates, say, his BB Profile pic with a picture of him, woof! his hair has to go. He once got suspended from school for cutting his hair! I know, I know, it's a British thing. Same thing happened to my cousin when he cut his hair. They were both on suspension till their hair grew back out.
We talk about standing up to the curl haters. I just wish I could stand up to this one (but I know I'm just going to get shut down).

~SammyWithTheBigHair


p.s I'm done venting and talking bout my sulphate wash for now.
p.p.s My dad's the black parent. So, yup! he's got really kinky hair, but it's cut so low it's almost like the guy from 'My Wife and Kids'."

SO! APPARENTLY, NATURAL HAIR IS NOT GOOD HAIR!

Okay! So, the other day, I was at work (yeah, work :) got a job...but only for 2 weeks! :) ).
Anyways, a lady that works here, she called me out while I was talking with my "co-workers." So, I was wondering why she was calling me, but I went to her and she was like, "why's your hair like this?" I was like, "like what?" She was like, "even your friend's hair is like yours," I looked at my bff through the window. She had her super kinky hair in a messy state, but she had most of it hidden under a beanie. That's when it clicked, the lady had seen my bff's hair before and I knew what she was talking about now, "are you talking about our hair being natural?" I asked, "yes," she said.

"Do you think your hair is good?" she asked, "do you think both of you have good hair?" I said, "yes," she went on to say, "you should go get your hair relaxed," I was like, "I'm never going to get my hair relaxed," she was like, "why? you think your hair is nice?" I said, "yes," she said, "natural hair is not nice. You don't have good hair, how do you even comb your hair?" I was like, "I have good hair, natural hair's beautiful and I comb my hair from the ends up to the roots," she was like, "what nonsense is that? So you'll just be sitting or standing and combing all this hair like that?" I was like, "yes," she then was like (and I hate this part),"look at how thick your hair is! Do you seriously think this is good?" I said, "yes," and she was like, "shut up! it isn't good. Look at how thick your hair is and on top of that, it's natural and you're telling me that's good?" and I was like, "yes."

My uncle (dad's bro), who happened to be in the office that day came over and was like, "what are you guys arguing about?" she was like, "she's telling me she has good hair," my uncle was like, "but she does, look at all this hair, healthy and natural." I should add that my uncle has a 2 year old daughter who's never going to get her hair relaxed (his wife has relaxed hair and from seeing my hair, she's considering transition. My uncle and his wife have decided never to relax, Neriah's hair). As for their almost a month old baby, they've started working on a good and healthy hair regimen for her, they haven't tested anything out on her yet (they only wash her curls with water for now). Anyways, back to what I was saying before: the lady was then like, "how is that good? her hair is so thick and natural," my uncle was like, "you haven't seen anything yet. You should see her rocking an afro," then he asked me why I didn't decide to wear an afro that day and I told him that my hair shrinks a lot now so he was like, "okay." We, my uncle and I, told her that my hair's so healthy now and that it's growing much faster and better now and that my hair hasn't been this long since I was little (when I had hair down my back and WAY below my chin- my dad cut it all off when I was 8-ish. Mind you, I only have below collar-bone length now, but a few strands of hair, stretched, go past bra-strap length - dunno y). The lady still wanted to argue with me, I totally felt like telling her that how thin, heat damaged and relaxer whatever her hair looks, is nothing to write home about or want to have. Instead, I settled for saying, "you should totally consider going natural." She was like, "so my hair would look like yours? Never. Why would I ever want my hair to be like yours? I've told you, you should go to a salon and get your hair relaxed. Look at your mum's hair, doesn't it look beautiful now?" My mum relaxed her curls. I said, "been there, done that, I'm never getting my hair relaxed again," and I walked away and went back to the conference room where I was with my "co-workers" and bff.

..................................................................................................................................................................

Has this ever happened to you?

or something similar?

Tell me your story.

Review!!!! (John Frieda Frizz-Ease Curl Around Style-Activating Daily Conditioner)

Hey everyone!

Okay! so, I decided to do another review and this time, of an actual product - the John Frieda Frizz-Ease: Curl Around Style-Activating Daily Conditioner!


Now, what do I use this conditioner as?
I use this conditioner as a co-washing conditioner, an after shampoo conditioner and a combing conditioner.


What is a combing conditioner?
A combing conditioner is a conditioner that provides good enough slip to detangle your hair well, moisturises your hair, prevents frizz and so on. Here's an exert from Teri LaFlesh's book, CurlyLikeMe:

"Leaving conditioner in your hair coats each strand with emollients and smoothing ingredients. By leaving conditioner in your hair, you no longer need hairdressings, frizz serums, or lotions. Leaving conditioner in will transform your curls into smooth-and-defined-nongreasy-able-towithstand-humidity-wind-rain-and-moves-when-you-move-your-head curls. Also, when whole curls are clumped together, the individual hairs within those curls are shielded from damage. Instead of each lone strand being exposed to the elements, the strands will all act as a unit, where no one strand is exposed. Many strands will be completely encased in hairs, like a cocoon, therefore totally protected. This means that at any one time, the majority of your hair strands are shielded from the elements. 

Remember, growing longer, manageable hair is like knowing the combination to a lock. These techniques work together to give you healthy hair that’s weatherproof and predictable. But the lock won’t open if you use only some of the numbers, or if you don’t spin the special number twice. These techniques work only when you use them together. For example, you can use all of the conditioner in the world and buy the exact brands I suggest, but if you rinse it out, or if you don’t release and smooth your curls in some way, your hair won’t be as manageable, and it sure won’t be weatherproof. After cleansing and conditioning, the following chapter covers combing, the step that gives you the perfect canvas to showcase your stunning coils.

Leaving in conditioner will:

● Keep your curls defined

● Help give your curls weight

● Help weatherproof your hair

● Moisturize your hair 

"

Do you just put the conditioner in, plain, like, alone? 
I used to put it in alone (but that was like June-ish last year). Right now, I make a mix with it. I get a bowl, eyeball an amount of the conditioner into  it, add some canola oil (eyeballing the quantity too), add some homemade rosemary oil too, a bit of my kinda pH balanced/diluted leave in conditioner (leave-in conditioner and water mixed together) and a tad bit of water. I mix everything up till it looks like one thing and not a throw-in of many things. I use this on my hair and like, I totally love how it makes my hair feels!


As a co-wash, how do you use it?
Err...normally? I use it like I'd use shampoo or well, just normally.


What do you think about it?
I think it's great as a combing conditioner. As a co-washer, it's okay (not great, but not bad). It leaves my hair feeling good, but as a co-washer, it doesn't do much (for my hair. It might work wonders for others though. We all know that what works for one hair doesn't always work for another and vice versa).
When it comes to slip, if your hair is damp or partially wet and you have enough conditioner in your hair (and your hair is in sections!) it provides good enough slip. Style setting: it acts kinda like a hair gel, to like help a twist or braid out. When it dries when used as a combing conditioner, it doesn't leave your hair dry or crunchy. It actually still leaves your hair feeling soft and moisturised.


Would I keep on using this product? 
As a combing conditioner? Yes (but not EVERY day)
As a co-washing/rinsing conditioner? I don't think so. I'm into creating my own hair products now so, if I can, I'll use my homemade natural things or I'll switch to the BeeMine Botanicals line if I can't make my conditioner yet.


Would I recommend this product?
Yeah, I guess I would! :)
Combing conditioner, rinsing conditioner, I'll recommend it.
I guess it doesn't do much as a co-washer for me because I'll have to use practically a whole half or more of the bottle to actually get it to do something on my hair if I'm co-washing. This is because of my hair's nature, by the way. It's size and so on.


Hope this review helps somebody! :)
~Sam

Help

I hope this helps somebody. Okay! So, I'm going to call the other person here, "Masuhr," instead of her real name, okay? Here we go:

Masuhr:

hey i wanted to ask you a few questions, you seem to really have this whole amazing natural thing working really good and i really admire you for it . im still working out different things with my hair and was wondering if you can help me? would be great  

Samantha:  

Sure, I can help you 
So, what exactly do you need my help with?

Masuhr: 

i was wondering how do you define your curls? i here lots of curlies saying stuff bout gel, i dont think i really want to use it, so i was wondering how you define em? second what do you do about fizz? i dont mind a bit, it comes with being curly but somtimes it does get rather bad, so how do you deal with that? thanx alot i really admire you 

(Aaawee, that made my day. Just reading the "I really admire you," bit because like, I admire so many people, including the person I'm calling 'Masuhr,' I think they've got this whole curly thing under control, but instead, they think they don't and I don't so...oh well, that comment still made my day :) ) 


Samantha:

Well...I use aloe vera gel for both. All I do is take out the gel from a fresh aloe vera leaf, put it in a bowl and add some oils to it. Also, to combat frizz, you can use some rosemary oil on your hair.Both aloe vera and rosemary oil work wonders for me.

(Yeah, yeah, I know she said she didn't want gels, but hey! at this point, only very few people I knew knew that you could put aloe vera gel straight from the plant onto your hair so... :) )


Samantha:

A little addition to my reply:
You might want to get some shea butter into your hair before using the aloe vera gel, just so you're sure it won't dry up your hair. Also, the oils I put in my aloe vera gel are olive oil, rosemary oil and canola oil (also, I put about a teaspoon of water in it too). All this prevents your hair from possibly getting dry or crunchy.I have never had my hair dry or crunchy from aloe vera gel because I've never used it without doing the above. Even the first time I used it, just because of the word gel, I did that because I didn't want the possible chance of dry and/or crunchy hair.

Masuhr:

well ive made my own rosemary oil, by infusing EVOO with it, i like in germany right now, (for the next two weeks!) and ive never seen shea butter here before, so i might have to use somthing else in place of that, thank for the tips  when im back in Australia, im going to try that out, we got tons of aleo plants 

Samantha: 

kk, hope it works for you like it did for me 
Oh! and have fun in Germany!

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Okay, so there's more, but it really doesn't have much to do with this, plus it's really short, so I took it out. I hope this helps someone and I hope my side comments between some of the posts didn't annoy anyone :) 

~Sam 


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